I miss you very much but do you know about that . I doubt that as we barely know each other and if only we introduce to each other or became friends thats possible can be happen .

It was just my hopeful wish , isnt it ? Liking you is one thing ? Having a small crush on you is one thing ? What will happen if I approach you and whats gonna happen ?

I cant possible predict the future , cant I ? I can always approach for someone but not for myself as Im too afraid to do so . Dont asked me why .

But Im really lucky as I know where you worked at and I can go there with anyone I like but you cant say that Im a stalker as before you work there , its always been my fave place so ... yes , you cant call me that as its unfair .

Flamingo Chew , is that your english name or just for fun ?

Then can I name myself as Bella Chew , how's that gonna sounds like ?

As if I'm Chinese Malay like that , like that oso can right ?

But it sounds as if we are siblings like you mom is chinese while your dad is malay but for me will be dad is chinese and mom is malay ?

I have no idea what leads me to the school library but my feets and my mind was the one who lead me here and I've been spending my time here for 4 hours without break and keep playing the computer and think nothing . Just wasting my time here as if I've no life like that and indeed I have no life . All thanks to someone .

My instinct told me that hes not attached but someone said that hes attached and now I supposed to be sad of him being atttached instead I'm not crying at all like Im living my life like normally as if nothing has happen to me . At first , I was shocking that I couldnt believe that hes actually attached and that didnt get inside my head .

Every night , I keep complaining not being able to see you . What do I do when you're around ? I dont give a damn to it but not when you're no longer around me , I keep looking around when I know I will never get to see you until next year . If I know when you are seating down all alone , are you waiting for someone to approach you but if it was me , I'm scared to approach you as I thought you would be a typical person that once a girl beside you would walk away and end up I didnt approach you at all .

Are you seriously not gonna accept my friend request ? Will you just get over it ? If you dont like me , say it to my face rather than playing these kind of mind games as I dislike it so much . If a girl that you like is playing mind games with you , do you enjoyed that or do you dislike it ? Or do you enjoyed it so much that you forgave her for playing mind games with you ?

Here am I waiting and sitting down at Library where this is your fave place . Your fave place and it has already became my fave as the first time I met you was here and it was love at first sight . I keep complaining that I want you to be right here with me and if you were attached me and sees me smoking , I want you to be the one gripped my wrist tightly and talk some sense with me so that I will stopped smoking .

Are you the one for me ? I cant really find any answer for you as you are not with me . If only Im related to you by your friends or my friends maybe we will hang out with each other but things will not always go my way . I always thought from the moment I like you , I thought to myself whether you're my Mr Right or not

I dont know what I want for my life and for my happiness .
Will I ever get Mikhail Ashraf in my life ? Will we be together ?

I wont make you in a tight spot but I want the best for you even though you doesnt know whether I exist in your world or not . In time to come , maybe you will know my existence in your life . Even if your friends are giving me this weird and unfriendly look but I dont mind as long as Im concern I like you and I shouldnt care much whether they are giving me weird look , I dont care at all if worst come to worst if you give me the same look as them , I got nothing say to you .

A miracle has happen earlier on as what I've wish in the morning hoping that I'll get to see Mikhail at forum and coincidentally I happen to see him when I skipped my class and I was stunned and shocked for a minute as I couldnt believe it at all .

A miracle that change everything that I think and its good .

Besides , today is really a JACKPOT that I saw Mikhail , Sed and Alexander.

Its like package that I happen to see them as if I feel very lucky today maybe today is just my lucky day !!

I'm at the library and hes not at here at all and I think hes at the classroom as its 1337 so maybe he still have class so I was thinking that he might be coming but I was wrong as he will only come here during break or when he has project only , I guess .

each time when im facing a problem death is the way out as when i died , my family and friend will then apperciate you back but they got to know once i died , i cant return back to the old time but some people at the corner will be elated that this Nur Hydayu girl has finally gone but for one thing , I can tell you that if my spirit isnt feeling assurance and i'll make sure that i'll haunt that particular person for sure .

but am i really prepared to face death that soon ?

but i really wish that i cant just collapse anytime when i have problem . but can you grant this wish of mine to a person like me and i know that you only like holiest person but not me , am i right to say that . give me a rain weather if you prefer the holiest person but not me .


thanks .




HIDUP TAK BERMAKNA UNTUK ORANG MACAM AKU .

no one wants to hear my side story first and everything im always in the fault .

you wont really get to feel how i feel when my closest friend get so nasty to me after one day spending my time with you . you are forcinng me to say something that you dont wish to hear from me that is you are a B.I.T.C.H as it has already reach my limit but being with my friend just for the sake of cigarettes , didnt you work , use that money and buy it !! thick-skinned at least , i ask money for food but not like you . CB!!

TaeYang CL Ga-In - Love The Way You Lie

110311 Song Ji Eun (Secret) - Going Crazy @ Music Bank (MV Part.2)

Im going crazy soon now .

Life is kinda unpredictable as my girl-friends is either in relationship or dating while Im left the only one whos single and keep slacking around with my friends thats attached . Just give me time aites , once Im attached or whatsoever , I wont disturb you people anymore but it'll take a long tine for me to be in relationship all I could say that give me time .

Today is the day that Im into Vampire Diaries and I like one of the hunks and his name is Steven R. McQueen . Simply gorgeous . Hes in the casting in Vampire Diaries as Jeremy Gilbert . Lovely and truly awesome !!

Its been ages that ive last updated bout my life .

As usual , it has been boring all day long. Nothing better things to do at all .

School is back to normal , I guess . But , I still have the fear of seeing that miget . hah. how mean . shouldnt say that and is she still remember my URL , Im so dead meat and she'll totally tease me here and there . Ooopsy , should have known to stop talking boout it as the moment she appear before me , my mood will automatically change so i'll just stop at here.

Whats the use of searching for the guy's fb when you used to like but now you no longer liking him and its such a waste of time ? really waste of time and thats what Im doing right now , and I feel annoying when I keep calling him "dier" , "dear" and also "deer" . end up , i make up a name that his name is "danial" and i guess his the kind of person that suits the name called "danial" so i guess i'll be not searching his fb as in stalking him or whatever .

By 13 April 2011, I'll make sure that Im matured enough to handle things and also my well-being. I must be mature as that's my checklist for the year .

What can I do to make you be mine ? Love is selfish things at times . Sometimes , you wont know what you are actually doing and when people starts to point things out to you , you will then realise that you're being selfish . At times , I cant deny that Im being like that too but Im also a human being , doesnt that makes sense too ? So , there are times that Im also like that too .

I used to be someone to advise about love stuff but it seems Im no longer interested in it at all . It seems to be so boring and common . I want to aim something in my life . Maybe aim something that I wanted . The fact is that Im also confused w/ what I want in my life . Relationship can comes on the later part , firstly , I want a stable career and income . To live on your own w/o owing anyone's money . I got to clear my debts to my friends and also my family .

I already took one step that is being independent for 6 years and that already good enough to be independent girl at such a young age w/o any guy interrupting in my life . Im considered happy w/ my life already and the next thing is that I have to develop something that I want .

Hey , its been ages that Ive last post and now here Im back . been busy watching korean stuff as usual . tomorrow is the big day , i mean that sounds so weird -_________- i mean tomorrow is the day i start my school and its my second year or even last year . Gonna get busy with attachment and stuff . I think Im gonna look for part-time job and because i dont want to depend on my attachment salary . maybe a barista at coffee bean . im kinda lack of working experience . need to gain alot of working experience . so maybe im working at united square just nearby my sister's workplace and also she work as a barista at starbucks .