how i wish that we never knew each other and

I dont talk at you and take a glance from you

but you just went up to me and say hi and from

that moment onwards I started to get infatuated

by you but I know that I cant avoid you and its all

because we're colleague, am I right to say that for now?

and right now, I think Im right to say that and now ive

to go through all the pain that you left on me and do you

know how painful it is for me to endure it and myself

flashing back all the things about you. what can i make so

that your faces of yours disappeared from my mind,

my head and my heart.

how do I make it disappear forever and never ever get

face in my mind,my head and my heart..?

is it possible for me to forget you..?

lets hope that im able to forget about you and im sure

it will take a long time for that to happen and as for now

i'll have to endure it for a long time.

will have to endure no matter how hard it will be and

i'll try my very best to endure it how difficult can it get.

so wish me luck so that it will heal quickly without me

myself realise it.

If Im not working, in a day. I can barely post 2 to 5 post and its because im very free and maybe I'll just say everything whats going on in my life and so on but at times I will get overboard when I post everything so please dont take it to heart!

In this world, there's no such things thats called boy

and girl can be buddy forever and who knows it may

turned out as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Usual buddy are meant for boys but not girl and we

doesnt fit to that criteria at all. Girls called their girl-friends

are babes but not buddy.

You people must be wondering why I start this topic.

Frankly speaking, its because I went through all this.

I like my schoolmate and it ended up that we are buddy

and I felt very stupid.

Such an idiotic and foolish person!

Day by day, my taste seems to be changed alot.
For example, my taste of liking a person.

Now, Im gonna be unique and that is my aim at the moment is

having a unique cellphone then other teenagers that use the kind

of cellphone and I would want to have Nokia Blackberry E71.

An unique situation again. Have I started to change this much since

the day I work. The kind of phone that I wanna use has all has change
drastically.

I hope that I change for GOOD but not BAD!

Wish me luck people..

Well, I have not been updated that actively since

I was working at WildWild Wet that is Downtown East.

I can tell that Im getting tanned totally tanned.

Meet kinda alot of people and different kind of person.

I wished that I wont like my colleague and it has happen and

it was because I cant let my eyes be shut. I even cant different

between good-looking,average or even ugly. The only thing that

I can say that I have a unique taste.

Indeed, I really have a unique taste but now I does not what

kind of boy do I attracted to. Maybe someone that is good-looking,

smart, sense of humour, able to listen to my sorrow and happpiness

at all times.

Am I able to find someone that is suit to my criteria..?

Am I able to find someone like him again..?

Am I able to find someone like him..?

When will I be able to meet this person..?

Is it when I will going to leave this world

and he will be the one who send me off..?

I will not regret but I'll be satisfied to see him before my last breath..?

I will make sure that things will be completely be fine without me..

They called me Hippo and another person called me

Thirsty Hippo but Im not that petty person and not easily angry anymore.

Has become more and more straightforward person after working at there.

New changes from me. People may thought that they can influence me but I

am totally difficult to influence me if something that make me so disheartned

then maybe they can influence me but too bad they cant do that at all.

Im not that angry wif them calling me Hippo or even Thirsty Hippo just make

sure that you dont go over the limit. Thats all I can say. Dont too overboard and I will getangry and I will ignore that person totally. As for now, nothing has happen to me at work.So, people dont push your luck. That doesnt mean Im being quiet oreven anything, Iwont do anything about it and also depends who is the person.Rememeber, dont push your luck too much and thats all I can say..

I will miss everyone of you guys!!

On Saturday during work, I see him like 10 to 20 times and

I didnt expect myself to be counting how many times I see him.

I know its weird to hear and see this after I say that I'll let him go

but when I dont get to see him I'll think that hes absent from work

but then after I change my station and after my friend say that he didnt

come but the fact is that he came and its just I cant see him at my area

besides hes a lifeguard and where do I expect him to be at..

Isnt that logical enough? Dont you think so?

After I get to see him at one place and I purposely went to the place

where I can see him and I told myself that Im doing in purposely so

from there I began to smile and smile has been very wide and I'll keep grinning to

myself and I did doing that !

But, then he got whistle at me because of some work issue but he keep whistle

at me but as for this I didnt get to bother this too much but at least I can see him.

I got both advantages and disadvantages. Actually, when I see the schedule I

feel like OT but when of my feelings was gonna gone I cant decide and I finally I

wanna an OT and the reason is because I request for an OT just for the sake of

him but few minutes later, I dont feel like having an OT and its because I wanna

play at Wild Wild Wet. It seems that things doesnt go my way so I will just have to work

then. What can I say. Thanks to my foul mouth that I wanna an OT but after few minutes

later I find that my OT is quite worth it because I can get to see him.

I 'll give more updates about this. I got to go!!

Bye! Miss me and miss everyone a lot!!

Last night, I have started to listen to all the sentimental

song and its all because of him and Im well prepared for it.

Will I get another breakdown and the answer is totally YES!

Its because Im having my breakdown at this minute. I really

had enough and after this I might as well dont risk my heart ever

again maybe because Im being too lenient toward them.

Thats why Im always having this breakdown just like that

and Im always the one who will be having it not anyone but

its always be me.

Its time to let me go of him and also to make sure that I will let

him go forever and ever. I will make sure that will happen and if does

happen. Im prepared for everything..

No longer in doubts about Cat and Joe.
Its just reminds me of Ben and Mel.
Such a small world, isnt it?

Finally, Im relief wif all kinds of pressure!
Lastly, a new person has come to make my hope all go shattered!
Its gonna be over soon.

Need to ask him question by this Saturday!
Hope that Im able to control myself and never let
him suspicious that I like him.

Since he has his special someone and now its time for me to back off!
Its time to let it go forever and ever. No more turning back! Once it gone,
it will never be yours again! Never!!

Will I get another breakdown from another person ?

I know myself too well enough than anyone else that I will get a breakdown when things doesnt go my way anymore and all of it will be shattered just like that.

Will I ever risk my heart again?

Maybe yes or even no. At times, I say no but soon or later it will just be opened again by itself..

Will this come to an end?

Yes, it will come to an end when the time is ripe. Everything will be gone just like that.

Will it be gone forever?

It will be gone forever and ever. Now and forever. Soon or later, I will forget about you. Every single thing about you will just lost and I cant take it back.

How long will this last?

It will not last forever. This gonna end and soon or later, will be having a breakdown session that I will start to cry everything out..

I know that it will not last forever!

Exactly! Once its not yours, you will have to let it go. If its yours, it will return back to you.

One day, I know that my feelings will not last forever when I know something about him and soon everything is over!

Soon or later, every feelings for him will just go fade. All I can say is "ITS OVER!"

StRaIgHt To My HeArT!!


Cupid Love is shooting at me and Im madly in love wif you and Im just going with the flow!
I will try my very best to be myself when you are around me and I will try my best to control myself so that you wont know that I like you. So that you wont get to see that Im blushing like one tomatoes.

Im getting high nowdays all because of you! You made my life on last Sunday! I really begin to like you double up the feelings and I really like it and I made a silly mistake when Im working because Im thinking too much about you.

I got bruised on my both knee and I accidentally hit my forehead on the railling/railiing and it doesnt hurt that much because Im blinded wif love and the person is obviously you! Someone says that you look like Bruce Lee when you wore your shades.

Am blinded wif love and really been blinded love and you make my imagination about you really very wild,sweet and funny! Just love them and until I hit my knee when I was about to abroad the bus and it hurts for a while and after that I doesnt feel any pain at all.

You really make my life really wonderful! I like you a lot and not to the extend that I will love you! Im in love wif you and thats all I can say! Thanks for everything. I can forget everything and go to fantasy world wif you at this minutes!

Straight Through My Heart

I like you very much!!

Hidayu is in love again.
This time round, it was a Malay guy from her work.
Looks like Bruce Lee.

On Sunday, I seat just beside him and eat lunch
wif him and also some of the colleague.
He was the one who offer me to eat wif him
so I was so happy when I sees him taking his wallet
and his handphone and I can tell that

hes gonna having his lunch.

In the same time, I had my lunch too.
I ate western and a while later I didnt

realise that hes just next to me
and I turned to my right and he was there.

Isnt that incredible..?

I really like Taufiq very much but I cant

promise you that this will last longer

but I hope that this will last for at least for 4 months..

Hope that this will last longer!!

I wonder hows my friend doing. Im not saying that I miss them but actually that I missed everyone of them including my teachers too. Thats include my teacher that is at overseas that is Miss Rose..

Just wondering hows everyone doing. Whether they are happy,sad, or even what. But I know for one thing that everyone is looking for a job and I have found one that make me became so tan and kinda dark tat is working under the hot sun. How terrible can it get. I mean how pathetic can it get.

I dont mind at all just making sure that I will think about my beloved Sunshine. Miss him very badly that I wanna died. How I wish I will see him tomorrow at my work place and that will be great. I know that will never happen but how I wish for a miracle to happen at my work place.

Imagines that my beloved Sunshine is coming to my workplace, how wonderful can it be but I know that all of this wont come true. He would rather play street soccer with his beloved friends and brother. Who am I to him asking him to come to my workplace. Unless he's my close friend then I can ask him to come but hes only my beloved Sunshine in my mind and my heart.

Gonna endure all of this. I know that my friend say that theres still many guys out there. I dont care what they say. I really happy that hes my last malay guy that I like him.

Thanks a lot , Sunshine. <3

I will miss you. <3

I <3 YOU ! ! !

Some poems or quotes

there are times for you together and there are times for you to be apart

if my wound has heal please forgive me and if my wound has forever heal please forget about me

if its not yours you will have to let go and if its yours it will return back to you

sumday u'll forget about me my name,my voice, who I am,what I am to you but even if you forget about me jus wanna u to know that I will never forget you

what had done, cannot be undone, it will remain the same

no one can predict what will happen in the future, NO ONE. Except for HIM..

my eyes are hurting coz I cant see you,

my arms are empty coz I cant hold you,

my lips are cold coz I cant kiss you,

and my heart is breaking coz Im not wif you.

Finally, the story of "What Hurts The Most"

has ended that I have been doing for the past 2 an a half month.

That can make my brain go burst but it didnt burst at all just need to rack

my brain about what should I write but some parts, I got fabricated them.

Need to fabricate them, so it will be more interesting enough and also

giving me more ideas of what to write.

Kinda unique and hidden talent that I have

that is writing a comic/storyboard line since I was Primary 6,

thats been 4 years that I wrote it.

Whoever I rejects me in real life, Im gonna twist my words

in the story so whatever its the story kinda funny,sad and happy.

But mostly, in the story I am the one who is always dying..

Totally nuts, every story that I made is always me that is dying and time

again and again Im the one who will be in an accident or even dying.

Nothing better things that I can write about myself.

Maybe the next story, Im gonna changed the method of making it maybe

Im gonna saved my friend from being stabbed. I guess..

I cant think of anything that is good maybe thats the

only way for me to make myself entertain..

If I dont like that person anymore and if I were

to read it, Im gonna laugh and keep grinning because its

very funny and I will not believe that I like this particular guy..

It will be very unbelieveable..LOLS..

miss me,

ayuhaha_miss_sunshine

Flashing back to 17 October 2009



I will just say everything about Sunshine, morever this post will be everything about Sunshine so have fun reading them and maybe you you will be able to know who am I talking about.



At first when I was at sun tanning myself and I sees him walking towards the place. Immediately, I went inside the side to hide my presence from him and eventually I got to face him when Im taking my lunch and actually I was at the shore drying myself and after a while I see him playing soccer with our friends.



Inside the sea, we were playing polo water and I was somewhere that is far besides I was floating away and after a while I stopped floating and from there I started to play with him and then my friend helplessly help me call him to play with us when I was about to go to the shore and have a rest. Since, he is at the shore I shall forgo the resting and keep looking at him until the end of the day and soon or later, I may not be able to see him anymore.

There was one time, he purposely throw the balls at me and I was not angry or even sad but I was just hoping more than that he is talking to me but I didnt write in the letter about him giving me a wonderful memory on 17 October but I totally forgetten about it. How dumb can I get since the letter and outing has occured what can I do just keep flashing back about the letter and also the picture of him and thats the only thing that I can think about.

Once again, I would like to take the opportunity to thanks all of my friends for putting up with my nonsense and crap. Thanks a lot, people. Thanks for being there for me. Thank you. Hope that you will like the letter that I have given you 1 week ago.

Thanks for everything.

Date: 16 October 2009

I watched it at Vivo City with Wei Rong,Tze Hao and Jane. I went to Jane's house and fetch her and it was actually a surprised because the night before I told her maybe yes or maybe no I am not going because Im kinda sad about the Graduation thing and immediately shecalled me back and asking me, why I am not going at the last minute eventually she can read my mind, she say I am sick and that's why I am not going and there was when she made me sad and I cry for at least few minutes and its kind pathetic to cry through the cellphone and when we've put down the phone Itext her and I say "If tomorrow, I does not appearat your house , it means I am not going to watch the movie.." but I went to watch the movie..I picked her up wearing black t-shirt and jeans.. She gave me comment about the bag and this time round I look kinda different. Then, I gave her the letter that I wrote for her on two days ago. I told her to read the letter before going out and she really read the letter and I see her reading the letter and few minutes later, we went off.. Then, she called me a mother because I keep her wallet inside my bag and that's really very nice of her calling me as Mummy or even Mama..LOLS..We went to AMK Hub and meet up Wei Rong and then on the way, sees Khaliff and Khai at AMK Hub. Meet up Tze Hao at Vivo City and when inside the theatre and Tze Hao and Jane while Wei Rong and I seat together at the same row. The funny part was, Wei Rong usual thing that he will do is opening his mouth very wide while I make sound effect , as for Jane she will keep adjusting until she gets the right spots of which side to seat at and Tze Hao will keep folding his hands or evenput his hands inside the pocket and the moviewas kind scary,funny,romance and sacrifice. About the scary part is about the tsunami thing even though its only a computer thing but still its so scary. About the funny part, people being hitting time again and wanting to pull the child's teeth and its very funny..LOLS.. About the romance part, where a lifeguard wanting to save a lady that is drown and that's really very funny. About the sacrifice part, when the tsunami occured the lifeguard when to save the lady and man , when the lady has been saved, except for the lifeguard and the guy has not been saved, the lifeguard sacrifice and I cry..

finally, everything is done. all is done.

printing and typing it in one day and my

body feels very aches and now cutting

them into half. Up next, hoping that my

classmate will apperciate all my hardwork

that I have been doing like one month ago.

now waiting for day to come which I am not

sure whether to give the letter today or even

on Saturday. I will give some of the today and the

reason is because some of them are not going to the

outing that I made. I hope that they will like my small gift

of mine even though it sound as if I am gonna died but thats the

only thing that I can do for them and soon later, we will not be

seeing each other again. The last thing that I can do for them and

I hope that they will apperciated.

I WILL JUST FIT EVERYTHING IN AND I DONT CARE WHETHER YOU UNDERSTAND IT !

Date: 5 October 2009

Last monday, I give him a new nickname that is Sunshine,its because his name starts with the letter "S"..Then,behaving intimately with my T.T.M that is best-close-guy-friend that is Khaliff then during exam I had some other then and I list down all the guys that I like and supposingly people went to have an exam is to make sure you do well in your studies and after few minutes, I was shocked to see that being 4 years in AMKSS and overall I had 16 guy that I like and that was really shocking to know.

Date: 6 October 2009

Make an eye contact wif Mr Sunshine and that's so great. Such a unforgetful memory that he had given me during the exam.Hahaha.. He is making me unbearable as if he cant make me breathe properly and all of my attention is directly to him but no one else. Sounds really pathetic,isnt it?

Date: 7 October 2009

Make an eye contact with Sunshine again..LOLS.. I am going GAGA over him. I like it so much. I would prefer making an eye contact at class and that will make me nuts whenever I seat at and I will facing towards him and thats really great. Its just so great. Day by day, I am getting overboard about him and yyou know what I like it a lot..

Recently, I have being flashed back about this person in what ocassion I also dont know why. Perhaps there was one time I went to lunch cum dinner with him and I sat beside him and people will be able to know that I like him even my unit's friend can tell that I like this pathetic guy. I dont know why I like someone like him. Maybe I got some unique taste of liking a guy that is good in their studies I guess. I caught him red handed when I was taking a Drill exam and I saw him staring at me for quite long time. Not long later, I took the same bus to school to witness the NCC Land R.O.D. , when I got inside the bus and I thought, theres no one but there was one time I turned my head and I found out that he is also inside the bus and I begun to freak out and once I got out of the bus, I quickly rushed off to the school and immediately tell my close friend that I took the same bus as him and almost the Sec 4 knows about it and I was like "OMG,they seemed to know about it!". After few minutes, while we were witnessing the parade, my friends offer me and say,"Hidayu,you should seat beside him ",and I stare at my friends for few minutes and I am back to normal. Half hour later,he went back home and I guess he watch Transformers with his friends. We went to have our lunch at KFC, we keep wondering where we should go..It was a memorable day for me. Then, I decided to go and watch midnight movie that is at Orchard and I am the only girl. Few days later,I was been grounded because I went out with 4 guys in the night but they are my friend that I know for 4 years. Is there any wrong with it..?? So,I guess he really make my HIGH SCHOOL LIFE go wild. Well, his name is Calvin Tay..

Date : 2 October 2009

During MT lesson, we didnt have any lesson but we were cleaning up the room and called Klein to come inside the class and there's also I suggest to my teacher to call him and Xiao Wei ask where is he and I say that he should be at the counselling room and when I went to the counselling room and indeed he was at there talking to Ms Mullai and after a while he got back to the classroom..

The boys is cleaning up the classroom and some of the boys did not help that is James, he went up to me and ask me what's wrong with my leg but for one thing, I like wearing sandals to school because my feets look small rather than the sports shoes..Hahaha..lols..

James told me that he will be make a music video and he say all those music that I have never heard of and I suggest to him why not use graduation song by vitamin c and I told him that Shi Jia say that I on the day of FAREWELL ASSEMBLY, I am the first person to cry during the assembly.

Please somone help me to endure this emotions of mine. Im just afraid that I will cry non-stopped that I couldnt stop at all..

Date: 1 October 2009





watch Phobia 2 again but this time wif kechiq,natasha,nad,dinie and heidi,khaliff,nana and I at Jubilee, we rushed to the cinema and it was boring for bothe kechiq and I because we watched it twice and we can remember what's gonna happen in the next few minutes and all of them will ask what will happen in the next few minutes and I told them just to watch and keep your mouth shut yet after few minutes they will start again and got some people watch horror movie and she listen to MP3, isnt that stupid and tats such a waste of money and you wanna watch the movie and instead you listen to MP3..I can say that is really such a waste of money..

HEY, I REALLY CANT BE BOTHER ANYMOR ABOUT THIS POST ! ! ! !

Date : 30 September 2009

Emotions gonna show up besides it has already show up like freak crying and crying until few days I stopped crying because my eyes look very swollen..

All got to do with Sunshine because he was very angry with Natasha and also myself and on Monday ; 28 September I cry all because of him..I cry when I listen to Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson and Xiao Wei was there with me when I cry very bad that Xiao Wei had to called Natasha to have a look at me and I cry in front of Natasha, Nad and Nana even Xiao Wei was in shocked to see me crying very badly..

Natasha was on the phone with S.Natasha telling her that I cry very badly..and after a while Natasha handed me the phone and I tried to lied but it's just because she can tell from my voice that I cry this bad that it has really change.. totally changed..

After a while, I am alright..I get too noisy that no one wll be able to take it..

In the afternoon, I went back home take cab not in the mood to take the public transport and that make me waste my 10 bucks and after that wash my sisters clothes that she will be going to work during late evening, and in the late aftenoon went out for the Hari Raya Celebration with Khaliff, Kechiq,Bengap,Aidil,Nad,Heidi,Nana,Ariffin,Matin and the others too..
( Did I miss out anyone??)

Then we slack at Sunshine's block and then I got see him and he's looking way too hot for me to handle after what he done to me..Hehehe..I know it's kinda weird to read this from me..

Then we went to Sabariah's house that is Khaliff's friends and after that we had no idea where to go.. My leg is injured due to the blisters..Thanks to Khaliff, he wore my heels and I wears his shoe and for the first time in my life my boy-friend is wearing the heels for me..I keeping saying thanks to him and keep saying " I love you and you really save my day by wearing the heels for me" and thanks a lot..


On the way to Diana's house, we were walking toward the house that is nearby where Sunshine play street soccer..Hahaha..Kinda weird,isnt it..? I told them whether they have any camera so that I can take picture..I told them can I zoom in and take his pictures and see that he's playing the soccer and how I wish he was there with me but I know that I went overboard about Sunshine..

After going to Diana's house we had decided to watched movie instead of visiting people and guess what I watched, we watched the Fame and the movie was totally great at first when we came in, the movie has started half way through, I seat beside all my bestie friends that is Kechiq,Bengap and Nad and so on.. I can tell you the whole list of people that who seats where but I can tell that Ariffin and Nana was not at there because Ariffin got tuition and Nana gotta go home..

On weekday, which people will have their open house on weekdays..?? That makes sense too..
But am visiting and also in the same time collecting collection of $$$..I know my intention kinda weird but thats what all of the teenagers thinks about..

I MISS MR SUNSHINE A LOT ! ! !

Im a sentimental person and now Im

writing letters for my classmate

and thats include my Sunshine..

Sunshine, we gonna go on our way

soon..Make a eye contact with you during

examination,my feelings of is so great that

I dont mind seating downbeside him and

making eye contact with him and he really

make my day with full of joyful and happiness

even now I can feel it.. It feels very great to like

someone and you'll start to imagine things that

can make you surprise and go wild..maybe I

really overboard..I'm just getting "obessed"

by him.Is that the right word for him or

what..hahaha..?

Mr Sunshine, Goodbye..

Today, instead of studying maths. Im typing letter for my classmate all of those 38 people and I told myself if I can write a comic until 100 page why cant I write a letter for 38 people..its fun typing all those stuff because it came from my deep bottom of my heart..some people may think that Im bull shitting just to get in people's good book, if you know what I mean..

Just a normal human being, biding goodbye to all my friends, I can say that I will be the first person to cry during the farewell assembly and I have to be cold-blooded for once, how I wish someone could help me with it. Once I cry there will no stopping of it, I will cry as if everyone of them gonna died..TOUCH WOOD! That's the only word that I can think of..

Someone help me, Im really afraid that Im unable to stopped crying..Recently, I cry like a billion times because of this farewell assembly thinking when will I be seeing all of them again and how will they look like and will they be able to recongnise one another especially my Sunshine, will he be able to recongnise my new look...Will he or will he not..??

FORGET OF EVERYTHING ! ! !

On Tuesday ; 29 Sep 2009

Today, I was not in emotion condition but mostly is laughing and giggling around the school and making a very loud noise whenever Sunshine is not around in the class so I will purpose will make a noise..



SORRY, CANT THINK OF WHAT EXACTLY HAPPEN ON THAT PARTICULAR DAY!!

SO, I WILL NOT BE TYPING ANYTHING ON THIS POST!!

On Monday; 28 Sep 2009,

was a crazy crazy day for me and emotions started to show up and I was like STMF! Idiot, all because of an idiot..Cry and cry but only my friends know about it and I cry from 8 am in the morning till 10 plus and it was all because of someone that first time in my life I cry this bad because I like my classmate that is malay and I was really pathetic on that day then during few periods later, I went crazy and I was disturbing my classmate like crazy and then I keep throwing things at my friends and scribbling papers on my friends and after went for a movie at Jubilee with my bestie Natasha watching Phobia 2 after a while shouting here and there, put our feets/leg at the chair where no one seat but then after a while I was burping like one idiot after sharing the popcorn with Natasha..Hahaha..Kinda funny, shouting here and there..Especially Natasha, she will shout when it's the most disgusting and scariest parts of the movie..Totally scary..

On Friday, watch movie at AMK Hub bought ticket around 1 plus with

Xiao Wei,Si Li,Ariffin,Wei Rong,Fiona,Vanessa,Jia Hao,Klein and I..while waiting for some people to come, we were wondering at the cinema like one beggar..haha..dont get offended for those who is involved..pathetically, Xiao Wei was the one who organized this and I was kinda freak out wondering that person will be watching the movie too..After few minutes, we decided to eat at banquet..and that person looks cools in his home clothes but I didn't talk much with him because he wanna to be this way so I just follow his way then and after a while I cant take it any longer..Inside the theatre,Jia Hao seat at outside and that person seat beside Xiao Wei and I seat beside her and beside me is Vanessa and then Fiona,Si Li,Ariffin and lastly Wei Rong..haha..I can say its kinda a lot of people after watching the movie, we dont have any idea whether to go home or not..Klein,Jia Hao and Fiona going somewhere that is not home..Si Li,Xiao Wei and Ariffin going home same as for Vanessa and I went home too..

morning got haze that from far I can see and its kinda thick..

in class, was kinda empty but slowly people start to comes in due to the lightning at outside and there was no morning assembly and after that is EBS lesson and we do theory paper because we haven't yet take the N level EBS paper and first period, I did and after few minutes, my friends talks to me and I stopped for a while for a least half a period..after that is Eng language and I sneak out at just to go to toilet and I did and I went in and out of the classroom from the back door and freak out because my friends get to go out but I have to go out sneaking..on the way to the washroom hits the wall and injured my back and my hand..freak as usual..after that is recess, ate my breakfast cum lunch, and after that is Sci and it's damn boring and I wrote something on my left hand and it says "Science lesson is so boring"..besides it's double period and I can easily die at the spot..and after that I followed Khaliff to his classroom and all of sudden I sense that something is going on that is people from another class is throwing all kind of stuff and I didn't know that I seat in the middle of the classroom and soon or later, someone throw a newspaper at me and I hurt my head and I was also staring with that person and guess what he laugh at me because the newspaper hit at me and I was about to say "WTF" but I did not say it..and then their maths teacher is here and I went to my own classroom..It's Maths lesson and guess wat are we doing..paper and paper and n level paper that can make me drive to my grave..and then got scolding from mdm chong and that person just cut in not knowing that Im that person and after few minutes of doing the questions, I went bonkers because I does not know how to count what's that and I mad at myself for being such a dumb and then few minutes later, when I was very angry people start to throw shuttlecock at me and I was throwing it back at them and not knowing who throw the thing at me and my friends told me at that guy presence that he's the one who throw it. At that moment, itself.. I was so angry that I threw the clock at him because I was such a dumb ass and I went off..after few minutes, I went back to classroom and my friends wants to return my calculator back and I went my friends place and guess what..The calculator is already at my bag and I scolded or even say "CB" even though my form teacher is inside the classroom..

come to school just in time,

going to be late but what can I do is

quickly walk..and talk and talk

during assembly time,

had a hair spot check, who's in deep

shit not the girls,not me but the boys,

their sideburns..we,girl clip here and there

and we can go already..

first two period maths and that's so bored

early in the morning maths lesson..

how bored it is..first period got do

my work and when the seconds

period get so tired

keep yawning here and there

and feeling very sleepy

thanks to my sleeping hours tat I

only sleep for six hours..

then, a lot of things happen but not

that interesting at all

but during VE lesson, need to take

class photo for the last time and

that's so boring..talk to my friends

about that particular person

and thanks to my good friends wondering

where will he standing at..

while waiting, keep looking at him..

he wore the tie look really smart on him

and very happy to see him wearing that tie..

am happy and when taking pictures

what my friends say, it did really happen..

he's stand behind me and I was kinda

freak out at that moment..and I keep fidgeting after those

people, and at that spot I got scolded wif those people

and I was kinda embarrassed because he scolded me in front of everyone..

He look kinda cool and good-looking when he wore his tie..

He looks totally cool that I can be easily melting right on the spot..

I know that Im kinda going overboard by saying those stuff but what can I say Im getting obsessed by him and I will never get tired of him because I had a special feelings for him but if I had a major crush on that particular person once I had a major crush and I will like him and will never get tired of him..

school fun and noisy but things going for me is kinda perfect

especially these months, things have really gone

my way, one outing was successful that is break

fast together and kinda fun keep taking pictures

like no one business and that's fun and after

a while take my own pic and its fun and fun..

nowadays, I feel that I'm a photogenic person rather

than those days emoing at one corner..

fun and fun and fun all I can think is fun and

some of the hottest actor in America

that is Paul Wesley..hahaha..lols..

at the moment, I'm having a bad chest pains

feels as I'm gonna died at this minutes,

really in pain and I will just have to

endure until the pain is gone.

people may thought that I'm talking nonsense but actually

I'm not talking nonsense..

At some parts, its kinda weird..

Especially on the last part because there's one

guy take pictures with me hahahahaha..lols..

Paul Wesley is the hottest guy..

I know Im kinda going too overboard..

I just like him a lot..I'm melting like an ice..

He's much more good-looking than Robert Pattinson..
Right now,I'm feeling like singing "Hot n Cold" by Katty Perry..

He's just too hot for me..Hot stuff.I cant miss it..

I can see that the picture looks as if he has R.I.P.

but he's just too hot stuff that I have to let him go..

How I Wish I Can Dream Of Him....

I think too much about him...

He's more handsome/good-looking and cool then

Robert Pattinson, the guy that Ive been talking about is Paul Wesley..

Robert Pattinson, no offense..Paul Wesley is more cool and good-looking,

I can feel that I am melting like ice..

From top, Robert Pattinson and the below is Paul Wesley..

Hot stuff..Even though, I only watch the previews..I can tell that

he's more good-looking..

As you can see in Twilight, Robert use a make up for his face to make

him look like vampire where else Paul did not use any make-up at all and that's

look more natural..

I talk like no one business..

Hahaha..LOLS...

I just feel that Paul Wesley is more hot than anyone maybe

except Robert Pattinson, I guess..

Hahahahaha..LOLS...

Flashing Back On the First Day Of Raya

my beloved dad and I..

my family photo that's there's dad,elder sis,second sis,

fourth sis and also me..

we are kinda photogenic except for mum..

photo wif mum..

Isnt this nice or is it called beautiful..??

hahahaha..lols..

Pictures of siblings and cousin..

how I wish everyday is like this..

NO WAY!! GHOST..you are spoiling my mood on Hari Raya

you're getting in my way..you're not letting me to celebrate..

Wherever I go, there's always a ghost behind me,

how unlucky can I get..

from left hand corner,2nd sister,me,cousin,

elder sister and cousin..

Pictures here and there..what to do

nothing better things that I can do..
From left corner, two cousin in pink,

me in the middle and my sister ..

sticking out the tongue..omg..Im gonna
vomit blood soon..haha..lols..

For fun..Donald Duck..

Quck..Quck.. look like an

IDIOT..!!

my disgusting elder sister and also me...

haha, both of us are the same..Elder sister on left wearing black,Second sister on right wearing white, Fourth sister wearing white in the middle and lastly me in the middle of my elder sisters..
Aunt and I during Hari Raya. my small sisters in white, cousin in silver and that's me in black.. my faVe aunt and I..

right now at this minute I'm writing a letter for my whole class I'm just writing for them because that's the only thing that I can give them, I'm just getting more and more emotional day by day, maybe I will cry without noticing myself that there is teardrops on my hand..even now when I want to type this my heart is shaking and feeling like crying so much because I'm afraid that I will never see my classmate again..perhaps I'm thinking too much but I know I got to face the reality that secondary school life will not be forever that it has to go on and maybe we will meet again 5 years down the road..while all of them are running after their own goals. That's include myself too running after my own goal maybe I might not be in Singapore, maybe I will be all around the world working very hard and maybe after 6 years later then I might come back to Singapore..maybe I'm just thinking too much about it..

These pictures are edited by me..
Due to my bored to the core and wanna keep
myself busy because Im bored to death..
Sounds kinda pathetic,isnt it..?
Hahaha..bored to the core at the
moment..very the bored..

in the morning, kinda talkative..talk and talk..then first two period is PE lesson and every PE lesson will have to do 2.4 or even 5 items..getting fed up wif some potato teacher..how bad luck can I get to have this kind of teacher..that person is not wearing the attire and get scolded and get canning but some how I dont look at him that doesnt mean I dont care but Im care inner of my heart even though I dont take a look at him but during PE lesson, I noticed that he did give me strange or even weird look and I just like "whatever" towards him and we were at the hall..


tbc..

somehow I organized quite a lot of last minute outing that all the Malay students go break-fast together and I know that some of them encounter quite a lot of problem, for example of what to wear and so on and after few days..they have agreed of what to wear and where to meet..As for the boys, they will meet at the venue while the girls are taking ride from Mr Shaiful and that's include me too..My three friends was late and both Mr Shaiful and I waited and waited that it took at least 20 minutes to let them reach at my place..We talk and talk inside the car as we are on they way to the place we talk and talk but Mr Shaiful noticed that Im kinda keeping quiet thinking someone that I started to like but Im kinda sure that its not my CLASSMATE..If I would ever like my own CLASSMATE, I would rather jump down the building rather than going through all kinds of things with some person..

wow..nowdays i feel that i've been upto something which is making a last minute outing that altogether is almost 3 to 4 outing and I only tell certain people maybe because they are trustworthy and understanding..haha..after making all this kind of outing, I just dont want to separated from all of them after friends with them for 4 years and whenever I listen to the graduation song and Im afraid when we have our farewell assembly at the school hall flashing back all the memories that I has left the school..Will I be able to see my classmate in 8 years down the road..Will I be able to see everyone and I hope that everyone will be very close after all the outing even though mostly is organized by me but I think I will miss all of them...sorry people..Im kinda feel like crying..How I wish time will stopped for me and the rest of them...Perhaps only for me, hoping time will stopped for me..

Somehow, I wrote a storyboard line about someone and today that particular person is late for school and indeed almost what happen in my story is almost the same..haha..I know its kinda lame but what I wrote is basically all about my life in high school thats why its kinda personal towards me when at times when I no longer get over someone and I read back the stories that I wrote, I just find it very funny that I like them and I will asked myself why did I like him and I will try to think and think..lols..haha..well im just randomly saying the fact..haha..

What hairstyle suits me better that will make me look more feminine or should I just be myself but not like Kristen Stewart, I just think that I need to change. Somehow feeling like dye my hair to brunette color rather than black-brown because my current hair is somehow brown because I bleached it secretly without letting my family knows except for my besties friends..Whats the reason behind it is because I look kinda haggard or whatever it calls..

Which one looks perfect with me?? Which is better for me or should it by myself?? Everything looks nice on her except for her..Maybe Im just lack of confidence..Kinda looks plain to my hair at this current hair..Very plain..

Should I have this hairstyle then..Quite nice..Besides, all of these pictures is Kristen Stewart because Im a fanatic fan of her..Sorry at times,I will go very overboard talking about Kristen Stewart maybe because I like her lonngg hair..

I just find Friendster is not so good, I mean kinda useless not like Facebook with more quiz and quiz just dont feel tired of it at all..People can give comment at its status and its so bored like hell..Besides, its kinda lame..I feel like deleting my friendster..So boring...Freak..Friendster is so bored..Boring Like Hell...

haha..watch these awesome movie that make me laugh like hell..incredible..totally incredible that make me laugh until my stomach is in pain..especially Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum because they are totally funny and humorous in the movie..I gurantee if you watch it you will also be laughing because Amanda disguise his small brother and enrol in school and she has her own motive because she wanna play soccer and thats totally exciting movie had I ever had..Totally funny..Full of excitement and humourous that can makes anyone laugh to death.As for me, I watched it like few thousand of times because Im kinda Amanda Bynes's and Channing Tatum fanatic fans..I really like them..Totally like them very much..Full of humour..Amanda Bynes can be a guy..Please dont be offends..Thousand apologies..Haha..Laugh Out Louds...LOLS...

At times, I will behave two personality in one person. But dont worry people I will try my f***** best to be myself again.Not too worry so much..I will try to be myself again..Sorry Im not trying to be aposer over here but actually Im just getting so cry here and there..

Hes Just Making Things Difficult For Me

Just dont force me to be like this person..Im already tired of this kind of thing that I dont have any mood to be in love and Im just having feelings that have been rejected by countless of guy but the fact is only 3 to 4 guy but actually I really cant be bother by it but please dont make things difficult for me that I will do something that you will never expect from me.Please people, please dont hurt me and my feelings any further that will cause me so much pain..

If you really wish this person to appear again, I would appeal to you stop behaving in any way that will make me feeling hurt and perhaps I will come back but things doesnt goes my way perhaps I will be like the girl on top..Please dont make things difficult.I only ask this from some people..Please..but if someone just pretending to do something good in front of me but the bad things behind my back..I will just be the girl that is on top..

I almost gonna forget about someone not until one month that particular person talk to me on 9 Sep and all of sudden he ask me whether he can put his handphone inside my bag and I give one kind of look and I agree with it and I am confused Im just wanna know why in a sudden he talk to me and whats that supposed to mean by that is it he willing to be my friends again or is it something else..when I almost gonna forget about him, he talk to me and makes me liking him back when will this stopped..how I wish things doesnt have to go this bad that gives me terrible headache and a big problem.Maybe hes making things difficult for me..maybe yes and maybe not..how am I supposed to know whether hes making things difficult for me..

sat again and one whole day watching chinese drama.I mean my past time drama when I was kid and then one whole day took the face-book quiz and play Mafia Wars and Sorority Life..
Dont know how the play end up and end up just clicking the hyperlink thingy.Especially the Sorority Life..full of rubbish..end up just clicking the thing..as for Mafia Wars,its so f****** easy to play..one whole day at home and around 4plus get back home follow mum buy some stuff that is to make for hari raya, need to help that and that and no idea for blogging and playing games..So pitiful bah..thought want to go compass point look for heels for hari raya and grad nitex and look for dress for grad nitex..So busy like hell..Aiyoo..

today is saturday and here Im playing Mafia Wars and not studying for N Level and maybe Im gonna just flip the book but there will be two or three subject that I must study de..Especially my maths and my science but my ebs, maybe I will study because its kinda easy but theres a lot of things to remember de..I think Im gonna study last minute but I think that will be able to make it..just hope that I will pass my N levels..