I don't know what's wrong with the guys that I like in this world. They can sounds like a JERK. It is such maddening for me. I feel like killing those people. Its just so frustating to the core that sometimes I feel like talking to them face to face but I does not dare to do it at some guys especially Calvin because it will sound and look very WEIRD. Besides there is a guy called me a WEIRD girl out of blue. I almost flare up and ask what is that supposed to mean. What do you mean by calling me "WEIRD" girl. Just because I message one of his friend (that guy is also my friend) just because I never talk so much with this guy and I message him out of blue. What's so WEIRD about it. When I chat with his friends and somehow both of us begin to flare about that particular guy and I almost say something about their ranks, I say that "Those people are bunch of SLACKERS... I think this is enought to talk about..Talking about them just getting on my nerves..Making me feeling irritated and hating so much..
Monday, June 22, 2009
This will be the fully update about me...
So,where should I begin??
How's Life??
How's My Current/Daily Life??
Have I Come Across A Lot Of Rejection??
Have I Been Hurt For The Past 5 Months??
Have I Make New Friends??
Have I Been Out Of Love??
Have I Been Crying Quite A Lot Of Times??
Life has been very pathetic lately..
How should I say it...??
Life is totally unfair for me..Life is just very biased for me..when they like that particular person..Everyone will go to that particular person ..I thought that this year is my last year and I thought it will be a sweet and memorable year for me but everything is just not right for me..Whatever I do is always wrong and what others do is always right..What the hell is this?? Can I just fight for my own happiness??Can you give me what I always want in life so much?? Even if it impossible..can you at least let me fight with destiny till I get what I want?? This is so simple task..Can you just fulfil it for me only this once...??
How's My Current/Daily Life..??
It sounds like pathetic and shits..
Sometimes, I feel very happy and sad at the same times but sometimes I feel that life is very unfair towards me especially me..Things in these world are always full of crap and lies..When you like that particular person but that person does not apperciate it at all your feelings for them..Sometimes, I am very frustated with guys and sometimes I will get frustated with everyone that I know..Mostly, I will be frustating about boys/guys..They are just bunch of FREAKING BOYS, even after I say all this things..I will still like them..No matter how egoist are they..They are just human being like me...
Sometimes, I feel very happy and sad at the same times but sometimes I feel that life is very unfair towards me especially me..Things in these world are always full of crap and lies..When you like that particular person but that person does not apperciate it at all your feelings for them..Sometimes, I am very frustated with guys and sometimes I will get frustated with everyone that I know..Mostly, I will be frustating about boys/guys..They are just bunch of FREAKING BOYS, even after I say all this things..I will still like them..No matter how egoist are they..They are just human being like me...
Am I Single or Attached..??
You know the answers well enough whether I am single or not..
Well, don't beat around the bush..Let's just go straight to the point that I am still single..Who will expect me to be attached,right??
By the way, who will get so interest with me??
I am not that kind of girl that you can play with..I will thrash everything out with you when you did bad things towards me..What to say..I am this kind of person but I am not that tomboyish type at all. I am putting a front act but actually but inside of me tells me that I am not that strong at all.. I am just showing everyone my outer layers but not that inner. Every human has their own weakness and greatness..
How many crushes or the guy that I like this year..??
Well..not more than 10..
Firstly, from last year till now is Jeffrey Toong
Secondly, from last year till now is Benjamin Lau
Thirdly, from April till June is Teo Jin Zhi
Lastly, from 8 June till 21 June is Calvin Tay
This year has been obviously increasing/decreasing to only 4 guys.. Sounds pathetic,isn't it?? Obviously .. Do you want know everything in details?? I am willing to let you know..
No 1 : Jeffrey Toong
Personal Information
Jeffrey Toong Chow Seng
Class History : 1A,2A,3A,4A,5A
Birthday : 14 August 1993
NCC Land ; USM
Rank : Quite complicated..(Don't seem to understand)
Horoscope : Leo
Description : Cute,Short,Chinese,Fierce (at times),Chubby ( I guess)
Handphone : Guess it by yourself then..
Home Number : Guess it too
Like him since 11 July 2008 till 2009 ( Forget the specific date)
What event : Awards Nite ( Marshal Duty and Escorting People )
No 2 : Benjamin Lau
Personal Information
Benjamin Lau Cheung Kiat
Class History : 1/3, 2/3, 3/2, 4/2
Birthday : 28 February 1993
NCC Land ; Quarter Masters ; In Charge Of Part C
Rank : First Sergeant
Horoscope : Pisces
Description : Tall, be-spectable,quite chubby,body-builders,good-looking,
smart; genius,not that handsome,helpful,polite
Handphone : guess it by yourself
Like him since 21 August 2008 till 8 June 2009 , it's been ten months that I like him..
Event : The day when both he and I are sec 3 inside respective Land and NP room and he asked me whether I got rag or not and I lent to Land.. From there, I start to like him.. Quite weird..Hahahahahaha...
No 3 : Teo Jin Zhi
Teo Jin Zhi
Class History : lalala.. 4/1
Birthday : 30 April 1992
Birthday : 30 April 1992
Horoscope : Taurus
Description : Pale, be-spectacles, quite tall, quiet, polite,mature
msn :j_jinzhi@hotmail.com
Like him since April till June 2009
Event : During UG ceremony and UG council training
No 4 : Calvin Tay
Calvin Tay Yi Chun
Class History : lalalala..4/2
Birthday : 27 August 1992
NPCC ; CI
Description : Chinese, be-spectacles, kind, quiet, mature
Handphone : guess it by yourself
msn : calvin_tay@msn.com
Like him since 8 June till 21 June
Event : Ist Drill Test
Here I come about Rejection Of LOVE
There is quite numbers of rejection that I has been gone through but except for one which is Teo Jin Zhi, because of someone that is called Calvin and make me loss focus on Jin Zhi but then after evrything has happen between Calvin and I.. He is bunch of idioticfreakweirdos... Actually, when it comes to rejections, It's quite normal for me because I have overcome it for the past 16 years in my life..
There is nothing that I can say about this topic actually..I am just feeling heartbroken and nothing..I will just dropped the topic then...
Have I been hurt for the past 5 months??
Actually, it is not that pain at all.. After crying for the past few months and cry everything out.. I has feeling much more better than before.. Somehow sorted out my feelings and everything..
Not much to talk about this either..
Have I been out of love??
I will only tell you this that I have been out of love like a billion times..Actually only 4 to 5 rejection only..that's all..
Not much to talk about this either...
Have I been crying lately??
Not at all..except for one thing only..My friend's mum has passed away..
Nothing much to talk also..
@yuhaha
Sunday, June 21, 2009
♥ THE 100 QUESTIONS
01. Real name - Nur Hidayu.
01. Real name - Nur Hidayu.
02. Nickname(s)- Ayu/Amanda.
03. Star sign - Aries .
04. Male or female - Female .
05. Elementary - Nursery K1 and K2 .
06. Middle School - Ang Mo Kio Secondary School .
07. High School - None .
08. Hair color - Black and Streaks of Brown .
09. Long or short hair -Long Hair .
010. Loud or Quiet - Depends .
011. Sweats or Jeans - Jeans .
012. Phone or Camera - Phone .
013. Fruits or fried foods -Both .
014. Drink or Smoke? - None .
015. Do you have a crush on someone?- Yes, i guess ?
016. Eat or Drink - Both .
017. Piercings - None .
018. Tattoos - None .
019. Been in an airplane - Yes !
020. Been in a relationship - Never .
021. Been in a car accident - Never .
022. Been in a first fight - Yes, a lot .
----FIRST----
023. First piercing - None .
024. First best friend - Nabilah .
025. First award - Secondary 1 .
026. First crush - Secondary 1.
027. First fashion sense - Not sure .
028. First vacation - Malaysia .
----LAST----
029. Last person you talked to - Both Elder Sister .
030. Last person you texted - Calvin and Hon Yu .
031. Last person(s) you watched a movie with - None.
032. Last food you ate - Home food .
033. Last movie you watched - The Fast & Furious 4 .
034. Last song you listened to - Fearless by Taylor Swift .
35. Last thing you bought - Not sure .
036. Last person you hugged- Carrie , goodbye hug .
----FAVES----
037. Food - There's alot !
038. Drinks - Iced Milo / Iced Lemon Tea .
039. Clothing - All I love , so how ?
040. Books - Twilight Saga .
041. Musics - Genre; Anything except !
042. Flower - White and Red Rose.
043. Colours - Blue , Black, Green, Red, White .
044. Movies - Many !
045. Positions - I don't understand this .
----CURRENTLY----
067. Eating - Nope .
068. Drinking - Nope .
069. I'm about to - Updating my blog and listening to songs .
070. Listening to - Nobody by Wonder Girls .
071. Plans for today - Playing Laptop ! , I need to update all my stuff .
Waiting for - Complete this quiz & friends' reply !
073. Want kids? - Maybe yes and no .
074. Want to get married? - No Idea ?
075. Careers in mind - To be a comic writer and doctor at the same time!
o76. Lips or eyes - Of course both ! , ouh gosh !
077. Shorter or taller? - Taller!
078. Romantic or spontaneous - Both !
079. Nice stomach or nice arms - Sometimes .
080. Sensitive or loud - Both.
081. Hook-up or relationship - Nope.
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant - I don't get this .
083. Lost glasses/contacts → None !
084. Ran away from home → Intend to do that before .
85. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → Nope .
086. Killed somebody → Yes! For some reason but only in imagination .
087. Broken someone's heart → Sometimes, I guess .
088. Been arrested → Nope .
089. Cried when someone died → Yeap , my grandfather passed away and wanted end of friendship with me and also heartbroken .
----DO YOU BELIEVE IN----
090. Yourself - Yes .
091. Miracles - Sometimes yes and no .
092. Love at first sight - Yes .
093. Heaven - Yes .
094. Santa Claus - Nope .
095. Sex on the first date - Nope .
096. Kiss on the first date - Nope .
----ANSWER TRUTHFULLY----
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - Yes , Calvin Tay!
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? - Not at all !
099. Do you believe in God - Of course !
100. This is the 100th and last ,
Tag 10 people to do this quiz:
03. Star sign - Aries .
04. Male or female - Female .
05. Elementary - Nursery K1 and K2 .
06. Middle School - Ang Mo Kio Secondary School .
07. High School - None .
08. Hair color - Black and Streaks of Brown .
09. Long or short hair -Long Hair .
010. Loud or Quiet - Depends .
011. Sweats or Jeans - Jeans .
012. Phone or Camera - Phone .
013. Fruits or fried foods -Both .
014. Drink or Smoke? - None .
015. Do you have a crush on someone?- Yes, i guess ?
016. Eat or Drink - Both .
017. Piercings - None .
018. Tattoos - None .
019. Been in an airplane - Yes !
020. Been in a relationship - Never .
021. Been in a car accident - Never .
022. Been in a first fight - Yes, a lot .
----FIRST----
023. First piercing - None .
024. First best friend - Nabilah .
025. First award - Secondary 1 .
026. First crush - Secondary 1.
027. First fashion sense - Not sure .
028. First vacation - Malaysia .
----LAST----
029. Last person you talked to - Both Elder Sister .
030. Last person you texted - Calvin and Hon Yu .
031. Last person(s) you watched a movie with - None.
032. Last food you ate - Home food .
033. Last movie you watched - The Fast & Furious 4 .
034. Last song you listened to - Fearless by Taylor Swift .
35. Last thing you bought - Not sure .
036. Last person you hugged- Carrie , goodbye hug .
----FAVES----
037. Food - There's alot !
038. Drinks - Iced Milo / Iced Lemon Tea .
039. Clothing - All I love , so how ?
040. Books - Twilight Saga .
041. Musics - Genre; Anything except !
042. Flower - White and Red Rose.
043. Colours - Blue , Black, Green, Red, White .
044. Movies - Many !
045. Positions - I don't understand this .
----CURRENTLY----
067. Eating - Nope .
068. Drinking - Nope .
069. I'm about to - Updating my blog and listening to songs .
070. Listening to - Nobody by Wonder Girls .
071. Plans for today - Playing Laptop ! , I need to update all my stuff .
Waiting for - Complete this quiz & friends' reply !
073. Want kids? - Maybe yes and no .
074. Want to get married? - No Idea ?
075. Careers in mind - To be a comic writer and doctor at the same time!
o76. Lips or eyes - Of course both ! , ouh gosh !
077. Shorter or taller? - Taller!
078. Romantic or spontaneous - Both !
079. Nice stomach or nice arms - Sometimes .
080. Sensitive or loud - Both.
081. Hook-up or relationship - Nope.
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant - I don't get this .
083. Lost glasses/contacts → None !
084. Ran away from home → Intend to do that before .
85. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → Nope .
086. Killed somebody → Yes! For some reason but only in imagination .
087. Broken someone's heart → Sometimes, I guess .
088. Been arrested → Nope .
089. Cried when someone died → Yeap , my grandfather passed away and wanted end of friendship with me and also heartbroken .
----DO YOU BELIEVE IN----
090. Yourself - Yes .
091. Miracles - Sometimes yes and no .
092. Love at first sight - Yes .
093. Heaven - Yes .
094. Santa Claus - Nope .
095. Sex on the first date - Nope .
096. Kiss on the first date - Nope .
----ANSWER TRUTHFULLY----
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - Yes , Calvin Tay!
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? - Not at all !
099. Do you believe in God - Of course !
100. This is the 100th and last ,
Tag 10 people to do this quiz:
Sabariah
Farah
Shahira ( Ira)
Erin
Khaliff
Carrie
Sis Nurul
Sis Hani
Bro Khairul
Thursday, June 18, 2009
A Short Novel Story
In this story about a high-school romance,the protagonists are a loving couple who have to deal with the facts that the girl has Aids. It has the classic elements of love,jealous,rejection and fulfilment.
3rd Grade In Junior High School
Yuuki ( a boy) and Maki ( a girl) are childhood friend. They go to schooltogether without revealing that they love each other.One day, on finding their classmate's pregnanacy , Maki confesses to Yuuki that she is HIV-positive and contracted from blood transfusion. Since then, she tries to keep away from Yuuki because she is afraid that Yuuki will dislike her..But when Yuuki says that he loves her in spite of her disease.
Yuuki ( a boy) and Maki ( a girl) are childhood friend. They go to schooltogether without revealing that they love each other.One day, on finding their classmate's pregnanacy , Maki confesses to Yuuki that she is HIV-positive and contracted from blood transfusion. Since then, she tries to keep away from Yuuki because she is afraid that Yuuki will dislike her..But when Yuuki says that he loves her in spite of her disease.
1st Grade In High School-Spring-
They go to the same high school and meet their friend Chizuru after many years..Chizuru starts to fall in love with Yuuki and tries to win her sympathy about her experienced of being rape. Maki misunderstands their relationship and tries to give Yuuki up. But Yuuki tells them that Maki is the one he loves.
They go to the same high school and meet their friend Chizuru after many years..Chizuru starts to fall in love with Yuuki and tries to win her sympathy about her experienced of being rape. Maki misunderstands their relationship and tries to give Yuuki up. But Yuuki tells them that Maki is the one he loves.
1st Grade In High School-Summer-
Maki faints in school, and the symptoms of Aids are now visible.
3rd Grade In High School-Summer-
Two years later,Yuuki visits Maki everyday, but despite Yuuki's support, Maki's condition worsens.One day, Maki's mother tells Yuuki that Maki can only live six months more.
3rd Grade In High School-Winter-
At Maki's funeral, Yuuki says to himself : If you're reborn, I will love you again...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
In Life
You never know how much you love the person that is DEAREST to you...When they are nearly going to died or even has died...You will know who is dearest to you and after that dearest person of yours has died or even passes away before you...You will then think about REGRETTING after that person;dearest;beloved ones to passes away just like that...
Search for what you want and also listen to your heart..In this world you can accept anything except for LOVE...Believe her or else she will lose everything including her life too..In this world you can give way to anything except LOVE..
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