Will he be able to forgive me and will he talk to me normally or is it hes feeling paranoid from me and both of us is trying our very best to avoid one another hes avoiding me and I am avoiding me, how long will this will last..?? Why must he hear all those kind of those stuff from those people but not from my own mouth..why must this happening to me...how long am I able to endure this before I will do any kind of thing but I will get too extremist...

When I got problem, I will started to miss and think about Benjamin and because hes the guy that I came across and maybe because hes in the same position as him but Ben doesnt do things until this extend because he is different class from me while hes another stream...

ayuhaha,

miss me and love me...

Is it wrong to like your own classmate??

Why is he avoiding me and how long will this drag till??

Is it until I graduate from school??

I guess i will have to stop this before it turns to worst!!

I intend to write letter to him as in not love letter but its a friend letter!!

Please dont get this wrong if you read this..Im just trying to voice out my feelings..

I dont know how to start the conversation between us and I just find things will be very awkward...How should I stop this and if things get worst, I guess I will have to do something about it rather than ignoring it and faking all my laugh and smile..maybe he doesnt realise it but I can tell from my deep of my heart,that I am just faking this all my laughter and my smile just to inform him that Im ignoring him...I need to calm myself down before I do things that is overboard..Sometimes, I feel like irritate by his presence and I just find it very difficult to say out his name...Why must be this always be me?? Why cant it be someone else??

ayuhaha,

miss me and take care

On 5 Aug, I reached school right at the dot, used to go to school very early but am changing quite alot. For example, my personality,attitude and behaviour towards my friends and my family and not too forget my patience level is very low too.. Just dont know my nerves is really bad nowdays there are times I want to punch people's face and also say all those vulgar words and I can said that people will be shocked to see this..If I cant take it anymore just dont blame me I beg you please dont blame me..I have been holding back for quite a lot of number of time..

1.This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?Yes.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?

Depends who is the guy.

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?

No!

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who? No one

5.What is the last thing someone bought you? Nothing

6.What’s something that can always make you feel better?A listening ear.

7. What are you excited for? To see someone in school..

8. What were you doing yesterday? Home sweet home

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you? No one

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth? Dumpling rice..Yummy!!

11. Have a best friend?Yea.

12. Are you scared to fall in love? At times only..

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?Why not?

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?No one.

15. What time is it right this second? 10:19pm

16.What do you want right now? Mr Right; someone that I had longing for quite long..

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Myself

18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused? Single and Confused :)

19. When was the last time you cried?Last few days

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?I guess so?

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?Depend on who's that person.

22. How fast does your mind change? Not that fast will at least take an a half hour..

23. I bet you miss somebody right now?Yes! :(

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?Yes, no?

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?Uh? -.- Idk.

26. Tell me what's on your mind."I want Mr Right; someone that I had longing for quite long..

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?Working..I guess..

28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?Yes.

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?Last two days..

30. When is your next road trip?Haha, idk?

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?Yes.

32. How's your heart?Wait! *Check heart beat* Umm, not that good actually besides it's not beating at all..Am I dead??

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?Yes.

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?Dunno know..

35. What are you planning on doing after this? Read comic..and mess the room..I guess..

36. When will your next kiss take place?Haha, how'd i know?

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?Nope..

38. Who do you not get along with? Some wild boar!! I hate him alot!!

39. What does your 3rd recent text say? Prelims all the way..

40. What are you wearing right now?school event shirt and a nike short. :)

41. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?there are times I will do that and there are also times I will not..

42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?Never had one before.

43. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now? Boy : Calvin Klein Girl: Jessica and Isabelle..

44. How did you feel when you woke up?Still tired.

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?Yes.

46. Do you crack your knuckles?I wish I got some courage to hit my knuckles against the mirror.

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?Sleeping soundly.

48. What are your LEGAL initials?HUH?!

49. Who's the first B in your contacts? No such name..

50. When was the last time you laughed really hard? One week ago..

51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?Cant decide..

52. Last awkward moment?Yesterday.

53. Are you afraid of the dark?Sometimes

54. Do you have good vision?Not really.

55. Have you ever tripped someone?Yes, haha.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?No.

57. Are you Irish?No.

58. Do you use chap stick?Do you mean "chop stick?" YUP!

59. Do you have any scars?Yes.

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?Let me think.. yes, i guess?

61.Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?Yup.

62. Name the last person to text you?Klein,Calvin,Jane,Vanessa,Nishanti,

63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?Maybe YES or even maybe NO :)

64. Can you go in public looking like you do?Why not?

65. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Middle,Left and Right..

66. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?Yes.

67. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?Cry. Tears of joy.

68. Do you fall for people easily?Sometimes but at the moment..NO!!

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?NEVER.

70. Do you miss the way things used to be?No. Everything still the same. Nothing change at all.

71. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?Quite a number of time..

72. Song you're thinking of right now?You're Not Alone by Michael Jackson.

73. Want someone back in your life?Yes..No??

74. Will tomorrow be better than today?It will always be a better day tomorrow.

75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?White.

76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?Yes.

77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?Depends.

78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?None.Some say that Im attached but it is so complicated that I cant be bother to explain to them..

79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?Naturally happy person.

80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?Why not??

I want to tell that friend of mine that is keeping a distance from me "YOU'RE NOT ALONE", even people will talk bad things about you but the only things that I want to say that YOU'RE NOT ALONE.. I will always be there for you even some people knows what I am talking about..

I have tried to persuade or even comfort you but whatever you say I will not take it to heart.. Because you are my friends..You convince me to go for a school school but ended up you are not going and I don't dare to say the word "disappointed" in your presence but I will only tell myself that I am disappointed with you..This song is for you..even if you don't know what my URL but I hope some days you will be able to read this and what I am giving you.. I will always be there for you even though you dont know that I am here for you...

These song meant for you..

Another day has gone

I'm still all alone

How could this be

You're not here with me

You never said goodbye

Someone tell me why

Did you have to go

And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says

(chorus)

That you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

You are not alone

All alone

Why, oh

Just the other night

I thought I heard you cry

Asking me to come

And hold you in my arms

I can hear your prayers

Your burdens I will bear

But first I need your hand

Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

something whispers in my ear and says

(chorus)

Whisper three words and I'll come running

And girl you know that

I'll be thereI'll be there

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

You are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

For you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

On 3 Aug, we have study group that involves three of my classmate and I, we supposed to go to the AMK NLB but ended up studying at school. I did not ask the reason why the last minute studying at school. We only study science homework and one of us went to ask a science worksheet for us to do. After a while I accompany my friend to buy food at outside and we walk quite a distance and it was quite awkard for both of us and it was the first time asked me to hold his drinks and I was kinda surprised by him. We study for at least half an hour until we get bored and we imitate each of our subject teacher and after few minutes we decided to leave and we went home..

Sorry people I cant reveal who I accompany to buy food and if you guess it correctly, you will be able to know who is he.....


ayuhaha

Im doing something for my class before they graduate, someone says to me that Im a sentimental person and at first I dont have any idea whats that means after checking about it means and it means a person that has feelings for the things..After few days later, I started to like him that is classmate and only certain people knows about this..Not even my bestfriends knows about it. Even myself is very shocked when I realised that I started to like him..I just wonder why I like my own classmate when things and times is very crucial. I am having my PRELIM and coming N LEVEL and here am I started to like him...Why things are so complicated?? Why didnt it happen last year..??